Intimacy Coordinator
Intimacy Coordinator … two words I hadn’t imagined stumbling upon together.
Reading further into it, my intrigue morphed to desire as I heard myself say “I’d be really good at that job!”. I later discovered it’s a career path frequented by ex-dancers - I think partly because we’ve spent years learning different ways to portray stories with our bodies, partly because we’re used to taking verbal direction and translating it to kinaesthetic movement and partly because most dancers get very used to ‘handling’ or ‘being handled by’ other dancers, with a learned understanding of the propensity for boundaries to be triggered when due care is not taken.
While new to me, the idea of Intimacy Coordination as a profession has been around in theatres for decades, and more recently made a big entrance to the world of Hollywood, following, among other prompts, the events of 2017 and the #MeToo movement.
When describing this work to theatrical colleagues, I find myself saying it’s the ‘dramaturg of intimate scenes, meets movement choreographer, meets cast-and-crew safety advocate’; and for everyone else (yes, I do have a few non-thespian friends), I say it’s ‘helping the director create intimate scenes in a way that keeps the actors safe while accurately portraying the story.’
The reality is it’s a myriad of skill sets and tools all rolled into one profession, which requires a very special type of human to do it well. Do I have what it takes to be that person? Time (+ oodles of study, practice and feedback!) will tell. For now, I will be happy to see the conversation getting more air time.
Despite not being new to Australia, the profession doesn’t get talked about much here, especially on the amateur theatre circuit (which I’m guessing is due to budgetary restraints?). Digging a little deeper I can see the priceless impact engaging an Intimacy Coordinator can have - not only to the art of that particular piece, but for society at large as we work to reshape what healthy communication, safe boundaries and realistic expectations look like, as well as diversity and inclusion when looking at cultural representation and equality in the arts.
In this light, I believe the Intimacy Coordinator is close to one of the most fundamentally important roles to assign in a production with any level of intimacy … so why is it often overlooked?
The role of Dramaturg, in a nutshell, is about plot consistency and keeping true to all the relevant factors in the script while bringing the play to life in accordance with how the director wants the piece portrayed.
Such delicate care is often taken in character development, specific to how each character moves, talks and what is motivating them in their choices. Stage entrances and exists are choreographed, as is pace and volume - almost all physical movements are taken into account, right down to how an actor may sit on a chair - whether they cross their legs or not and, if so, is it at the thighs or the ankles, if they sit bolt upright or slouched … such nuances can offer the audience insights to what’s going on inside their world.
When it comes to more intimate affairs, be it hand holding, kissing, hugging, sex and everything in between, quite often the actors are left to ‘work it out’ on their own.
This would NEVER happen in a fight scene or a dance routine. So why does it happen with intimacy??
I often recall the story of a friend telling me about an experience in a local theatre play where the director announced they would be working on a kissing scene that afternoon and that she and her leading man should get together for a ‘make-out session’ beforehand so they had a feel for each other and didn’t waste rehearsal time working it out. So off they obediently trot, two relative strangers, to the alley behind the theatre to do just that …
Of all the confusing and potentially dangerous situations to find yourself in!
The safety implications of that are so vast and varied I’m not sure where to begin (both people in that story were fine by the way, but that doesn’t make it ok!).
Even if the deserted ally didn’t pose a threat to their physical safety, they could’ve done all manner of things to each other, emotionally or physically, entirely unwittingly, in their attempt to do a good job, devoid of supervision or a clear understanding of what that meant. Even in a scenario where both people have pure intentions, it is unlikely that they both have the same idea of ‘how far’ it should go or how/when to speak up if a boundary gets crossed for them, knowing that the other was simply trying to do their job.
Is it the role of the actor to know how to care take in this situation? The director?? The production crew???
I would love to see a world where that responsibility is shared by all, where the conversation is open, and all parties are actively mindful of their duty of care - doing everything in their power to keep themselves and their colleagues safe. This includes intimate scenes - both on the screen and theatrical stages.
A good director knows there are a myriad of ways to kiss, touch or to hold someone, and that the way any given actor naturally handles another person may vary drastically from the way their character would - but having those conversations while trying to keep everyone safe, sticking to a tight schedule, and overseeing the creative unfolding of an entire scene is asking a LOT!
Enter: The Intimacy Coordinator!!
Trained in communication, movement and so much more, they work alongside the director (and possibly the playwright and/or other crew as well as the cast, both in the development stages, rehearsal and often production), to ensure care-taking safeguards are in place to facilitate all cast and participants staying safe throughout the process. Safety aspects including mental, emotional and physical well-being, as well as the integrity of the characters, including cultural considerations being upheld, while the director’s vision is brought to life for the best possible telling of their story.
For all professionals and amateur artists creating a production involving intimate scenes, perhaps without the budget or means to employ an Intimacy Coordinator, MEAA.org offer a comprehensive set of guidelines, created in consultation with many industry professionals, which has been extremely well thought out. Providing easy-to-follow steps in navigating everything from auditions to post-production, it covers what discussions ought to be facilitated, including when/how often to consult with each party and who needs to be present in each of the conversations.
Being in the spotlight can be an extremely vulnerable position. It can also be a very powerful platform and how actors conduct themselves often serves as an excellent example for their audiences and fans. The people working behind the scenes, especially in the quieter moments of development/rehearsal stage, have the perfect opportunity to model this level of safety, healthy communication and appropriate behaviour, looking out for the best interests of everyone concerned.
Most humans believe that feeling safe is a human right. The small populace privileged enough to feel safe on a regular basis may think its luck that put them in that position, but we do have the power to influence a positive shift for all, towards safe and secure communities. It starts with you.
There are a myriad of courses and platforms available to find out more about ‘safe language’ and when/how you can incorporate it in your daily life. If I were to choose a single starting point, it would be Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent.
Intimacy Coordinators Australia offer some great resources for artists and arts workers. I also found the Intimacy Professionals Association host some incredible online workshops. If it’s courses you want, then Theatrical Intimacy Education also have some reasonably priced mini-workshops to get you started.
You can also check out our workshops on safe language, healthy communication and professional conduct on stage/set and in real life!
I’m going to sign off with one of my favourite excerpts from this article:
“Intimacy direction—creating repeatable, specific choreography for intimacy while working around actors’ boundaries and providing them with a safe word—is nothing less than a revolution in theatrical practice. And not only does it enable healthier and more ethical rehearsal rooms, it also leads to better art.”